Should you be a selfish leader?
Throughout we reference Dave Evans book Leadership or Leadershit. This is an edited version and updated content of the eight faces of leadership we look at Face Two. Check out Face One (Authentic or fake here)
Selfish or Selfless.
The first word of each face is the most prevalent. In this Face of leadership with Selfish being the leading element, you may be thinking that I've got this second face of leadership the wrong way around. To assure you that I haven't, consider this analogy:
You're travelling in an aircraft with two small children. The oxygen masks fall from above you. What do you do next? Do you, grab yours and put it on almost selfishly, or help your scared children first before looking after yourself? If you are a frequent flyer, you will know that every airline's safety instructions ask adults to put their mask on first before helping others. Regardless of who they are, because if you're suddenly no longer conscious due to a lack of Oxygen, you will be of little or no value to others, especially young children. Is this selfish or selfless?
To Lead Others, You Must Lead Yourself First
Get yourself 'right' before helping and leading others. Become very selfish about self-development, getting completely focussed and being more attuned to knowing who you are and what you are capable of, is something you can make work for you. The big proviso is that the authentic you is also the powerful, resourceful you. A great example of a human being that others want to be inspired by and follow. (Face One Authentic or fake)
In the movie Flight of the Phoenix, one of the stranded passengers in the desert started to steal extra water rather than simply accept his fair share while working out their rescue plan. However, when he was found out, his fellow stranded passengers were none too pleased with him, and understandably wanted to affect some terrible revenge. He argued that he was central to the escape plan (which he was) and he was working around the clock where the others were sleeping at night. He reasoned that he needed the extra water because without him - they would all perish. Selfish or Selfless?
There is certainly logic to this, and he needed more water to lead them to a place of safety. However, he was falling foul of a more straightforward leadership process - that of good communication.
If he had explained himself and his thinking, they would probably have allowed him more water, given that they were so desperate to escape a horrid death that was becoming more and more inevitable. His selfish behaviour was critical to their future survival. He was merely authentic, although he lacked diplomacy and the ability to connect with the others properly.
We tend to want to look after each other rather than look at the overall outcome and ask the question(s):
Will my choices and actions contribute to the overall outcome, or does my selfishness spell out disaster for the desired result?
Would you allow one person to perish to save one hundred?
Or would you attempt to save everyone with the real chance that everyone is more likely now to die?
Selfish Leadership means getting your mind into shape first
Too much of modern leadership can be theory and theorizing without the actual doing. Doing is important, but getting your mind into shape first means being:
Open, receptive, positive mindset (attitude, behaviour)
Focussing on what's important and ignoring what isn't
Being single-minded (without cognitive dissonance)
Creating neural pathways –wired 'Knowing.'
There's an interesting experiment about the backwards bike. An engineer put together a bike with handlebars that worked in reverse. Turn left, and you go right, turn right, and you go left. There is no question that if you ride a standard bike, trying to ride this seems a total impossibility. It could take you literally months before you master it. What's curious is that if you go back to the usual bike - it may take you a while before you can ride this again!
Wired knowing is our neural pathways. We all have a neural activity set up to aid us in a particular task, thought, process, and action in everything we do. Modern neuroscience challenges the old way of thinking that we do first and then learn. Yet our brain acts from prediction only (and in more detail, it functions using our body budget-think P&L for your body, so each decision (action) is using energy or working to preserve as much as possible).
On average, we have 86 billion neurons in our brain, which are active every moment of our life. Learning and Habits are based on this mental predictive neural technology. Wired knowing means we can create new pathways (actions, process, functions, responses) either from previous knowledge of doing or seeking new knowledge to build a new predictive reply- action. The selfish act within leadership is to focus on neural predictability growth and application first. Your mind growth and development like the oxygen mask first
Connecting it to being selfish positively
Selfish leadership is one not of being internally greedy or arrogant; it's serving your knowledge first, development, understanding, connecting to, high emotional awareness to benefit others, so the default becomes selfless.
In being selfish to be a great leader, we need to create new habits, through forming neural pathways to support us. Sometimes we have to push the initial action to start, stay with and complete the new routine. For example, if you are doing a task that you dislike, after a while of pushing yourself to do it, you'll begin to do it, without the association of dislike removing itself slowly. Perform the same task regularly and felt the same sense of achievement, and you will create a new pathway program that becomes your new habit.
As a leader, to automatically respond with a healthy and appropriate mindset, you need to have the neural pathway back up. The only way this can happen is to continually repeat something you want as a habit over and over again. Eventually, the new neural pathway is created * - and you don't have to think about doing that anymore, you will automatically do it when the need arises. This needs a selfish approach, selfish in taking action, making the time, dedicating the focus.
How to start to be selfish in your leadership growth.
The best way to understand your current leadership performance to get feedback.
Get feedback from people at every level you work with
This can be painful, particularly in the early stages, because many respond negatively to feedback as we choose to reject someone else's perspective, a differing pint of view, truth, or placatory.
Be warned too much placatory feedback is also a sign of weak culture as people fear direct feedback. A simple action to get the feedback is to ask
Best way to get feedback
Anonymous- this allows others to be franker and more direct
Get at least five feedback responses (min, maximum is up to you). Note the volume doesn’t mean quality, it does allow for better trend analysis of similar feedback though.
Direct and explicit instruction of why the feedback is required – be short and specific
Acquire feedback this way to remove ambiguity. 3, 2, 1.
3 things that are working Soulfood
2 areas to improve Stretch Food
1 behaviour/action/ area to STOP immediately
Receiving the feedback
As important as getting the feedback is how you can respond to it.
All feedback is personal, relative to the giver as it is linked to their emotional, circumstances situation, not yours.
Remove the desire to be personal about it, understand the feedback as it as one dimensional
Identify each element of feedback and list as actionable, aware of, not aware of. This allows you to be self-critique rather than self-critical or personal.
Be aware that feedback can create negative reactions
Some companies are continually changing their customer service strategies with little effect, based on current feedback. Ultimately this knee jerk, reactive and not proactive response, lack of connection to customer, poor understanding of the immediacy or circumstantial relevance. The output of this is it confuses people in the organization who can't keep up. Think of complete company reorgs from a low engagement survey or sales drop from an inferior product not linked to poor delivery or service.
Selfish means your health mental and physical comes first.
Your mind Won't Work So Well in an Out of Shape Body Though it might be hard to admit it, the evidence supporting the connection between activity, health, relationship, community and mental well-being[1] is overwhelming. People over 60 who continue to have an active life with plenty of exercise and movement are likely to live far longer than those who think it's time to retire, put their feet up and spend most of their day watching daytime TV.
Armchair leaders are rarely successful unless there is a medical reason; they cannot be physically active. In recent years I have begun to realize that the human body is there to work hard. Doing so regularly can produce good health and a joyful feeling of energy and well-being that then impacts your results, performance connection, and awareness to others better. Selfish come to you first to be the healthiest you can be to benefit others.
To start your activity journey, it doesn't have to be too full-on athlete style, think back to habit creation research through slow, consistent actions.
I would like to share a little glimpse of what I'm currently working on which all began from deciding to do some regular power-walking, doing 5 minutes at a time that then leads to 6 minutes, seven and so on.
Making it work – my selfish approach to being the best version of me in all I do
A story of selfish focus to achieve (edited excerpt from Leadership or leadersh£@?!)
I will share some very detailed ways that I have ensured that I boost my physicality, enhance my mindset attitude, and apply feedback I am given in all circumstances. If you decide you're going to skip this because you feel it doesn't apply to you as it's about exercise - please think again, because it does. Having that feeling of reluctance around anything to do with training and physical activity is the very reason why it's to change your neural pathways in this currently neglected area of your new life ahead.
In me downloading my experiences, I am not trying to show off—quite the reverse. I intend to tempt and lead you forward into thinking of what you could do physically, and it doesn't have to be about mountains.
ALTITUDE 2017 - Climbing Mount Evans
The First Encounter of the Massive Mountain. Every day, everywhere, leaders come up against small mounds, large hills and massive mountains. I have learned that by training physically, I am also preparing my mind to cope with anything a leader needs to cope with in every other area of life.
On the first visit to Mount Evans, it was by car. We drove up the most impressive highway the I-70 known as the highest 3-lane road in the world. Stopped at Idaho Springs and made our way up towards a small town called Echo Falls. We drove the first 4 miles to a visitor centre where we parked up and walked up to the viewing deck: Goliath's ledge. The road was dangerous, and there were huge sections where the side of the road has no barrier or protection, and it just has a vertical drop down to the valley or cliff edge, whatever was below.
At first, when you get out of the car at 12,000 feet with no time to acclimatize, it is a weird experience, where you feel almost drunk and nauseous. We had decided to walk the 2 miles relatively sensibly, given how strange we felt, taking just a small part of the walk at a time. Initially, 0.3 miles and stop. It soon became 0.1. The reason for explaining this is that the altitude significantly impacted what we thought would be challenging and plausible. The density of air at sea level worldwide is 750 Tor which defines the amount of Oxygen in the air. Denver Colorado is a mile above sea level and sits around 620 Tor at any given time. The summit of Mount Evans is 460 Tor. Driving the road, although scary and challenging, had an impression on me. It gave me the desire to want to come back and ride it.
Taking on the Challenge of Mount Evans
The ride had taken on more purpose, as I had been invited to speak at a Denver conference with a hugely successful business called Payroll Vault. The theme was Altitude. It got me thinking, I will do the ride, with the conference in mind'.
Planning for the ride/planning for your challenge. In business, planning is critical.
Step One - planning
For the Mount Evans challenge, I had decided that I needed six things to complete it:
• One: Tools and kit, to be safe on the ride
• Two: Items from my road bike back home, saddle, lights, helmet
• Three: Weatherproof clothes for varying temperatures. Warm weather and cold.
• Four: Fuel (Nutrition, food and hydration)
• Five: Enough water for a longer ride (double the amount)
• Six: Local knowledge and riding expert knowledge
Doing all this has, by the way, got me using checklists much more in business. Here is how there is a cross over between non-business tools showing you the importance of carrying them over into the business world.
Step Two: Decide your Outcome - Ask Good Questions
In business and challenges like this bike ride, you also have to decide up-front your level of commitment to the challenge. Something we can forget to do this in business. Stop, Assess, make a mental commitment. I do this now in my business activities.
Checklist of Questions
· What is the outcome I want from this challenge? Result?
· Are there critical situations to think through? Success/Failure/Setbacks?
· Who else can assist me with my outcomes?
· What is my level of commitment right now?
· Have I thought through the key' what-ifs?'
This was a critical phase for me. I was climbing the mountain to conquer it. I also wanted to capture the learnings of the choices one's mind forces you to make under extreme pressure, understanding the literal physical stress, caused through lack of Oxygen!
In business using mental focus has helped me in the stress and pressure of the corporate world. When I am challenged, dealing with difficult decision making, tough meetings, uneasy interactions or tricky negotiations. I simply take my mind for a moment to the harsher environments where I make equally tricky choices and decisions, then come back with a renewed and refreshed mindset that helps me win
Step Three: Set the date, mark the calendar, GO!
Once you have gone through the steps and preparation, once you have the focus needed to take the challenge on, it is time to press the 'GO' button and start. For me, it was 21 August 2017. It was also the morning of a Total Eclipse; it was time to ride at Altitude and see what happened next.
Sometimes in leadership, you have to press the GO button simply. Taking this bold action will sometimes not have the desired outcome and contain risks, yet doing is the only way of discovering.
Step Four – The ride & measuring progress
Through Step one preparation I was aware of
· Altitude impacts specifically physically at 11,500 feet and 13,000 feet
· The impact of the first hour, breathing, pace, clothing, nutrition and hydration
· Altitude preparations start further away, 15 miles extra climbing (Echo Falls)
As you read this, I have to stress that this is my option, my choice of physical challenge. My way of linking the outdoors with the business indoors. You can make your own choice - decide what your medium of challenge can be. For example, 'the walk-run method' run, slow down to walk, then run again. I was soon doing the same thing at my laptop, writing, stopping, doing something unconnected as a break, then writing again. This is powerful, and it makes me more effective in writing.
Throughout the road upwards there are mile markers. They restarted back to zero when I got to the base of Mount Evans, I have grown to like these from riding in France, where every Col has climb markers measured in km, and it tells you the average gradient of the road in each one. On Mount Evans, there is no gradient guide just the miles. Debbie supported me driving ahead, providing pre-filled bottles and support. This was critical to reduce any stop so that I could keep the body in a balanced state.
There is a surreal yet wonderfully satisfying feeling for taking on the elements and not allowing them to get the better of you. Like pushing through a pile of tasks at your desk and single-handedly getting through them all in a day when you thought it might take a week.
The Foot of Mount Evans
Arrival at base of Mount Evans the solar eclipse occurred. The mountain temperature dropped by 15°F, and I changed my top, adding a gilet to stay warm. The lower part of the mountain was in the high 70s. The road was narrower, the terrain was more ragged, and the road's quality began to get worse gradually.
Leaving the centre, the scenery changed quite significantly, the terrain at the side of the road lost its trees, the mountain became more baron, the road more isolated and the first of the long curving visible stretches lay in wait. In total there were at least five of these before getting to the next landmark, the lake at the foot of the last climb, Mount Evans Lake five miles from the summit. These long, lonely stretches were surreal, and they were beautiful to look at, you could look off either side of the road and see right into Denver Colorado over multiple other valleys and roads. Each one forced you to slow down, manage your breathing carefully and take it one step at a time. The altitude was climbing with every pass.
Eventually, I get to the lake, having passed a herd of Elk, and I saw Debbie in the support car for the last time. This was the point where you take on the last five miles, the road from here is ridiculous and narrow, it made sense to do it alone. Debbie went back to the visitor centre, and I went on. You then get a half-mile descent, where the bike picks up from 7mph to 21mph, and the approach to the final five miles is somewhat cruel, and the longest 5 miles I have ridden. Mathematically the distance is the same as any other five miles I have cycled, but this was the hardest, without a doubt. As each mile goes by, the Oxygen effect messes with your physiology interfere with your thinking, and when you put these two things together, it messes with your mind and body. I remember feeling weary and heavy, an effect of the air. The weird thing was, I did not once feel challenged on muscle power or fitness. Just heavy and experiencing the need to drink continually. I was at my worst from this point to the actual summit 14.5 miles up the road from Echo Falls. I stopped at a half-mile point, to fuel, drink and eat, taking 40 seconds to do it. The stopping experience was weird, as your heart rate falls, you feel almost dizzy; 40 seconds was long enough to settle and go again. The strangest thing in the world is knowing that moving is more manageable than stopping; your brain thinks this through and finds it confusing. I don't know what point I passed the 14,000 feet mark; all I know is I felt it.
You can apply this to business by remaining connected in every call, meeting, follow up. Ensure that you are doing what is needed to be the best you can be in each interaction, decision, risk, choice and outcome. Cutting things down into itty-bitty, bitesize actions- called chunking. It's the way you get through challenging physical activity, and precisely the same way you decimate that massive to-do list on your desk.
The Final Mile
In business, we meet so many people who settle for mediocre or quit too soon. You can sometimes be so close to success or achieving a goal, yet you can become again weighed down or frustrated by the amount of commitment you have to give that stopping can seem like a sensible choice.
This was a critical point for me. I felt ill, I felt weird, each corner was still going up, the road was narrow and rugged and awful. I became concerned about the descent. The thought in my head was as follows - "What is the effect this weird physical feeling is going to have on me when I turn to descend this mountain? Will I be safe? Will I be able to concentrate?" In the final mile, I was forced to do one thing.
Break it into three parts, a third and a third and a third.
Sometimes the win is achieved in smaller steps, with patience, determination and grit. Applying my plan, I climbed hit the 14-mile marker, turned the next couple of corners and arrived at the summit. Riding alone and without any haste, I turned around and started descending. The fear of not being sharp enough, or safe on the descend soon left my mind.
There is a moment in the last five miles where you climb up and around a series of bends to go over a false summit, as you climb it you get to see another road in the distance, miles away across two vast mountain plains that look like a fake picture. The road seemed fuzzy and unreal, yet it was there, it left me feeling philosophical and wondering where it went, who rode it, why was it there.
In our Leadership roles, we can sometimes wonder where the road ahead is. Of course, the secret is to keep moving forward in your business long enough, until you reach the point at which you can discover it.
Practical Ways to Be More Selfish and a Better Leader
Mount Evans climb had a purpose, and during it, I was able to learn many things. The thing that stood out to me, though was the following thought:
Choose your outcome up-front.
Visualize the endpoint.
Use all of your resources between these two points.
Mindset is always the key.
Set your commitment
Knowing the answer in advance when a situation unfolds is critical. For me, vital. When the last two miles presented the colossal breathing and body issues, my choice before the ride to continue, break it down and use my intelligence and experience predetermined that I was continuing unless I was sick.
The challenge of Leadership Altitude takes guts, in business and sport.
What is your leadership altitude ambition?
Have you developed your leadership?
Have you the self-leadership to commit yourself to your goal and purpose?
Being selfish means you are first to focus on your skill, competence, connection and awareness to be selfless as a leader.
Summary
When Gordon Gekko said, "Greed is Good" in the film Wall Street back in the 80s, there were many who were nodding thinking: this guy's on to something. Of course, we look at this clip and think a) it's a great Hollywood script and b) greed is terrible in reality. This aspect is for you to muse over, but I bring it up because I am about to re-emphasize an essential leadership face.
Being selfish to discover who you truly are and allow yourself to be of genuine value to others, where your leadership shines, completely flies in the face of positive human instincts. As I have learned when putting my mind against extraordinary physical challenges that my human instinct tells me to avoid at all costs.
Being selfish in leadership is good—selfish works. Be the person you seek to see in others first, and you are taking a giant leap in becoming a leader of worth.
References and Notes
Habit-forming has a history of doing something for seven days or a habit after 66 days, 10,000 times to 254 days etc. the reality is much more focused on repeat, mindset, attitude and circumstance. If it's enjoyable and the benefits are seen/experienced quickly, it will form faster, and the less pleasant, the more prolonged the new habit takes to set as a new neural pathway. James Clear Atomic Habits
https://jamesclear.com/new-habit,
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3505409/
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ejsp.674.
Kurt Vonnegut was the author of Breakfast of Champions, or Goodbye Blue Monday is a 1973 novel by the American author Kurt Vonnegut. And Ken Blanchard attached the prefix of Breakfast
(1) https://bmcgeriatr.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12877-016-0365-4
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667(19)30253-1/fulltext,
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-health-of-older-adults