Are you authentic or fake?
Oracle: “Don’t merely know thyself — be thyself
This post's premise is that authenticity is what it professes to be, or what it is reputed to be, in origin or authorship. This discussion and observation is taking the literal what it is reputed to be a sense of authenticity and fake to be its antonym
As Brene Brown declares
“Authenticity is a daily practice. Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be emotional. honest, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all”
Leadership requires authenticity- courage, trust, honesty, connection, vulnerability all behaviours to be exhibited, yet leadershit that we see is fake and built on fear, insecurity, scarcity, ego and hierarchy.
Leadership has been built on many poor behaviours and few examples of leadership and many more of Leadershit. An example is the 1980-the 90s the decadent and affluent (remember the YUPPIE). Unfortunately, many leaders subscribed and adopted a business approach focussing on stepping on others rather than working with them. The selfish, hierarchal, title led, ignorant to others needs or wants, self-money orientated first. They were the epitome of being inauthentic, literally fake. Many businesses were set up on a shoestring while many traders starting to make money with few qualifications and the world at large seemed suddenly very superficial and financially motivated.
So, whenever the word 'fake' is used, it does sound rather negative and skin deep. On the other hand, authenticity sounds like something you can rely on.
A fake leader has zero worth in leadership, while an authentic one we would prefer working with. Yet do we need to fake our authenticity?
Exploring Authenticity
Once you say it, claim it, apply it to yourself, you're putting yourself on show as well as in the firing line. You're saying to those around you that you are authentic. What's even scarier is the source of authenticity. It comes from inside and takes place in your mind.
Something you can't fudge or pretend to do and be. It shapes every facet of who you are and how you want to represent yourself in the future. Authenticity is an excellent way of being intentional and on purpose. Over time, with commitment, authenticity will attract fellowship if it can be maintained. Every leader needs to strive to be authentic.
· How realistic is real authenticity, being genuine and reliable at all times?
· Are we are all inauthentic as being authentic means we would have to show ourselves fully? Do we?
· Consider the Brene Brown quote
“Cultivating the courage to be emotional. honest, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable” do we do this every time, every decision, sharing strategy with teams? ”
Authenticity -the new uniform?
You may remember the classic movie Die Hard with Bruce Willis. The main antagonist, played by Alan Rickman, walked in and did his utmost to spot the CEO - then failed miserably. In days gone by, the leaders could be spotted by their dress or uniform. Seventy-five years ago, leaders could be identified by their bold manner and direct nature, but today good leaders are less about style and what they look like and all about what they think about and say to others. Additionally, what questions they ask and what actions they appear to be taking, or moves they are inspiring others to make.
Being authentic is more than just being genuine. Real authenticity is about being yourself and allowing others to see the real you while capitalizing on the closer created relationships, using Stephen Covey's 'Emotional Bank Account' concept.
Faking authenticity the oxymoron
Many years ago, a UK TV show called Faking it shared the vicar who became a used car salesman, the hamburger van man who becomes a cordon bleu chef, and the shy introvert student who becomes a bouncer night club in a tough neighbourhood. All of these people changed significantly in a matter of just 30 days.
This proved that with the right input to training, coaching and mentoring, or simply exploring and discovering things for ourselves, we can change in ways that massively impact our lives, businesses, families, and friends. The show uncovered that with a strong desire, you could become just about anything you like, there are many things you could become in such a short period.
Can you fake authenticity?
You could force yourself to become more authentic by acting and behaving like yourself immediately, in effect 'faking' what you wanted to become more of.
So, there is a tenuous link between faking it and becoming authentic. However, a second layer will bolster the power of becoming truly authentic beyond merely believing you can do something. It's knowing that you can.
For example, knowing you hate heights and are not prepared to find a way to change this belief (you probably believe you can't change it) will automatically deselect you from becoming a high-wire trapeze artist. Knowing who you are - and the belief you cannot change versus knowing who you are and the belief that you can change is a profound concept to sit down and consider.
What if you were stopping yourself being yourself - being authentic - based on an idea that had found its way into your subconscious by accident? What if being authentic was a belief issue and faking it makes it easier
It's the 'which pill?' question in The Matrix that needs an answer. Because whichever colour pill you choose, your potential as a leader will have a direct connection and permit you to become not just a good leader but an amazing one. In turn, it relates to a good life and business compared to an extraordinary one.
A philosophical discussion comes in here, nature or nurture? Are we born authentic, or can we learn authenticity? Whereas this can be viewed as a rabbit hole question with no agreed societal answer (see the research at the end of the post). You have the opportunity to choose the pill you want going forward. And it is your choice. Saying you hate heights and nothing you can do about it means you will always have a problem. This is a problem, not a challenge. Agreeing you are prepared to consider a way to change your limiting belief is a challenge, and a worthy one, with huge benefits.
You can decide we're all born with the same abilities and cannot change, or you can change anything. I believe you can, and so does the most up to date neuroscience, with our thinking driving our beliefs*. I have reasoned that we are all born with the seeds of every skill because this chosen belief works for me. If I wanted to become an opera singer, I could ultimately do so with a good coach. However, I need to desire it with all my heart and all my being, and that is what plants the seed I already have and makes it grow into an oak tree- I need to believe I can do it authentically.
It might be that having started down the path to opera, that there are other elements that I need to change or improve on. I also believe this is possible, and using exploration with this mindset, and I can become an authentic opera singer. It's not a mere belief. I know this to be true because of the countless number of people I have helped over the years. They have removed their limited beliefs, dismissed the belief that the only way to be is fake as they can’t show their “true colours of authenticity- the what if I am not liked? What if I don’t fit in? What if ‘s gets removed from having a belief you can be authentic.
Developing authenticity
It's only relatively recently in psychology sectors, like sports psychology, that coaches have started to take players away from beliefs and instead get them in a new 'mode of knowing'. This is quite a leap, first introduced in Tim Gallwey's The Inner Game and his thinking from as far back as 1971. This was further elaborated upon by coaching greats like Myles Downey and his recent work Enabling Genius.
Looking at how this can apply to your authentic leadership style and development is to shift our thinking away from the many traditional managerial books on what is leadership and discovering other perspectives (a considerable part of being authentic is awareness of different viewpoints).
Gallwey originally postulated the idea that rather than focusing on something obvious, like the ball in tennis, letting your inner self-deal with it, almost as if it were a separate being, would end up a better shot. It ran as a total contradiction to everything taught about sports performance to date.
The coaching would go something like this:
· Hold the racquet in any way comfortable for you when the ball comes in your direction, watch when it hits the ground.
· At this moment, shout BOUNCE.
· When it meets your racquet, at that exact moment of contact shout HIT
· When it goes back over the net, at the point, it makes that transition from your court to the opponent's court shout RETURN.
So, Bounce-Hit-Return was now heard by the student tennis player. They were focusing, yes, but not on what you may assume would be the thing to centre all their mental energies upon. Two other key areas were the self as two internal (contradictory) voices, one being harmful interference and matching the player's indirect focus point aligned with their learning style - be it visual, auditory or kinaesthetic. Tim Gallwey's summary of the process is simple:
Peak Performance = Personal Potential MINUS Interference
Getting people to understand the inner voice, just one, can often do more harm than good because it allows people an awareness of something that they now decide to tap into rather than ignore! It's the don't think of a pink elephant challenge which always produces that pink elephant is currently living in your imagination. (What colour are your elephant's eyes by the way?)
Gallwey's demonstrated this at a global conference with AT&T a project about improving customer care on the phone. Operators were asked to notice things like the tone of voice in the customer and their response tone in the reply.
By removing the emphasis on responding to what the customer was saying, all be it being aware of it, the conversation's connection and empathy improved dramatically. This concept is Believing versus Knowing it lets your subconscious lose; you know how to do something you struggle with when you focus on it.
How to apply this to Authentic leadership
3 Steps to Knowing: Noticing, Fully Experiencing, Acknowledging Reality
Take skiing as an example. If you've never skied before, the first step would be noticing what you experience when on skis. The more you see things that are not directly linked to skiing itself, the broader the experience, until you fully engage with experience without actually focusing on skiing itself. Finally, when you then appreciate skiing, you can acknowledge what's going on (this is Acknowledging Reality). At this point, you know versus belief.
Let's see an example of creating Knowing in the business environment and leading people to improve.
1. Noticing
In the sale, we focus on the questions. In this example, you concentrate on tonality, from you and the customer.
2. Fully Experiencing
In RLC terms we call this listening to lie your life depends on it
3. Acknowledging Reality
We are going beyond belief and interference from self-talk (the fake behaviours). It's self-belief through Knowing. We know what is said, needed, connected to and responding too- reality. Reality is authentic.
So, what does this all mean? It indicates that we are far more skilled and powerful than we give ourselves credit for. If we are afraid of public speaking, we can start by faking our confidence. For example, memorizing the first six sentences, then have slides to show. If we do this enough, faking becomes believing and ultimately, believing becomes knowing.
Real Leadership requires Real Authenticity
We can build our authenticity through faking it, noticing our skill, the gaps we need to work on and fully experiencing them in the workspace, applying them after daily practice and application we can acknowledge the reality that we are displaying authentic leadership, displaying vulnerability courage, transparency, honesty and creating great connections
Summary
I decided to go into detail about Tim Gallwey's work for a fundamental reason. It underlines that fact we all have potential, and this applies to Leadership to. It's not about learning about leadership, and it's all about allowing yourselves to become authentic and be the change we so desire to see. Being true to yourself & others links to authenticity yet can incorporate the surprising use of fakery as a catalyst tool like the above examples with Tim Gallweys work that noticing, experiencing and acknowledging reality. We can be an authentic event if we start with being fake.
Applying the Learning
Ask yourself three key questions:
What can I Apply from this?
What can I Change?
What can I teach someone or transform?
We look at it from three perspectives:
In your life
In your career
Or in your business
If you like us want to explore more, dig deeper. We look and research many aspects of leadership from neuroscience to philosophy for extra research and reference also look into the different philosophical perspectives of Authenticity
Philosophical perspective: Can you answer the question are you authentic or fake? Is not one that you not can reply directly as it's perceived by a.n.other. Your authenticity is not something you do; it’s something someone else feels, responds to and connects with? What is it to be oneself, at one with oneself, or truly representing one’s self? The real meaning of authenticity connects with metaphysical, epistemological, and moral issues (Newman and Smith 2016; Heldke and Thomsen 2014)
Existential perspective authenticity is the degree to which a person’s actions are congruent with his or her beliefs and desires, despite external pressures to conformity.
In society for millennia, the search and definition for authenticity have been discussed and ruminated on from Plato a desire to be understood-, Satre Absolute freedom is necessary for being an authentic person, Camus and Heidegger being faithful do not require some exceptional effort or discipline, like meditation. Instead, it entails a kind of shift in attention and engagement
Ben Yacobi “The quest for authenticity is in part related to achieving some measure of autonomy and freedom – to the desire to be the architect of one’s own life. Striving for personal authenticity provides an antidote to outside conditioning, and some extent is a reaction to the inauthenticity prevalent in culture, religion, politics, and everyday life.
References :
https://philosophynow.org/issues/92/The_Limits_of_Authenticity
https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/authenticity/
https://www.jstor.org/stable/23511211?seq=1
https://philosophyforchange.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/camus-authenticity-and-revolt/
https://d1wqtxts1xzle7.cloudfront.net/51596831/Stoicism_in_the_Renaissance
